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Sadly, my ward shuns us. I know some people don't like the sound of "working for a relationship", but it can be so rewarding. Whatever your leaders have said, consider their counsel, give it the weight it deserves, then counsel with your Heavenly Father about your own situation. I also think that if marriage outside the covenant is a sin, it is not so grave as to be unforgivable. He sealed my husband and I on our wedding day. This means no swearing, loud talking, or making offensive jokes. Of course they do.
It would behoove you in this situation to act like a kid yourself. And that my friend, is just a hint of the extent of the brain wash that Mormons experience. Should either of you sisters raise your children and wonder what faith will they choose.